How it really went down…

Source: Pleated-Jeans.com
Dear Victoria, I hope you’re having a nice time on your family trip. I’m doing fine, just catching up on some reading and stuff. Love, David
ALERT ALERT NEW PIZZIFIED TWITTER PROFILE PIC
it’s the special pizza edition of his new book cover
THANKS FOR THIS SUBMISSION I’M DRUNK ON SPECIAL BREW AND I APPRECIATE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OKAY!!!!!!!!
My mum has just discovered this picture and emailed it to me with the caption “Naked Pizza Alert!!!”
Thanks mum.
Can’t quite put my finger on it but there is something AMISS.
Intense.
(via simon-quinlank)
If I have to be exposed to your sexual confessions, I will do everything in my power to publicise them as much as possible so that you might rightly be ashamed of yourselves. Although to be honest I did submit this one, but my ULTIMATE FANTASY is to watch Jarvis Cocker throwing Babybels at Judy Finnigan.
David is in a strictly monogamous relationship with pizza and if you try to touch his pizza or pizza storage places he will not hesitate to push you into the local Dominos oven.
Go away you filthy internet pustule.
“Once David drunkenly sang Britney Spears at me during a pub karaoke night. It was incredibly romantic.”
- Pizza.